Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear
A toast from the August Man team. I apologise in advance if this page looks somewhat like a two-dollar motivational poster. It was meant to be thoughtful and provocative. But that’s the genius behind original editorial work. We pen the words to lift the page beyond cheese. I wanted to go with a photograph of a calm-looking hippie starring down a 60,000-tonne freight train à la Unstoppable but didn’t want to give anyone the wrong idea. So…
Because Christmas and the whole idea of giving have become less than inspiring, I want to offer readers something different this year: encouragement. I’m not being cheap. It’s a lot more efficient to disseminate a worthy idea, considering there are thousands upon thousands of you in Singapore and Malaysia, and wherever Singapore Airlines flies to, since we sit smugly in the Business Class lounges.
To North Korea
Stomping your feet isn’t going to get you right with Santa, who happens to be a very non-communist, fictional caricature imagined by the West to boost capitalism, incidentally the one thing you’re supposed to loathe single-mindedly. The world already knows you burn books that are actually fun to read. And no one in your country is allowed to shop online, which is the reason why everybody there looks like they’re wearing milk cartons.
– Ambrose Redmoon
Play nice with China, so that you hear less of the USA. That way, everyone’s happy. If all else fails, revive the space programme and try to launch a rocket further than 200 metres this time. And keep the pesky reporters at bay.
To Justin Bieber
I can’t reiterate how much I love your hair. You have such amazing hair. Hair which I thought The Beatles carried off, but you, you knock it out of the stratosphere. I’m openly jealous of your singing career and your memoir. It must be a very thin book filled with half-naked photos of you at bath time two years ago. You must make your mother proud. I suggest you start editing your documentary for a cinematic release at Cannes 2011. Call it Baby, Baby Oh… It Feels Good. The Oscars should come knocking if Robert Downey Junior co-stars.
To The Man Sick And Tired Of His Unappreciative Boss
You don’t need your job. You are all you need. And what you don’t have, you don’t need it now (thanks, Bono). Your skill set will land you a just-as-good, if not better, career somewhere else. Your job, if it’s a middle-management role supervising a bunch of lazy-eyed executives who are perpetually closing their Facebook windows when you approach, probably needs you more than you need it. Demand better prospects and benefits, or get the hell out.
Enjoy this month’s Gift Guide. We know you’d understand your peers better with the August Man’s Reader Survey. And have a spectacularly candid Christmas.
We power on.