5. Hancock (2008)

Trailer

Director: Peter Berg
Tagline: He is saving the world whether we like it or not.
 
Reason for vigilantism: He just had supernatural skills for it. So he figured.
Choice of weapon: Superhuman strength
Justification of vigilantism: Erm. Not really. If he’s going to do such a messy job out of it, better not.
Elegance of villainy: I didn’t even really get it, honestly. There weren’t even a substantial villain. 
The scene that stays in your mind: The strength of his orgasm in his rundown trailer
Trivia: Will Smith wanted and recommended Aishwarya Rai Bachchan for the part of Mary Embrey (the female lead played by Charlize Theron). But she turned down the offer due to scheduling.
 
Sigh.
 
It got bad reviews and bad buzz. And I wanted to like it because Will Smith was my favourite actor, but.
 
No plot. Jeering hero story and abilities. Puzzling storyline. Deplorable acting from Theron, and she’s usually not that bad. She’s actually a stupendous actress (watch Monster which earned her an Oscar) but she fell flat in this one. There was no beginning and no end, just ‘start’ and ‘finish’. It was appallingly hollow.
Yes but I still love Will Smith.

4. Fantastic Four (2005)

Trailer

Director: Tim Story
Tagline: Fun. Fabulous. Fantastic.
 
Reason for vigilantism: After mutating, owing to an erroneous experiment involving cosmic radiation, the four must defend the world with their abilities and take down Doctor Doom.
Choice of weapon: Elasticity and flexibility of body (Mr. Fantastic); Superhuman Strength (The Thing); Invisibility (The Invisible Woman); Flying and spontaneous combustion (The Human Torch).
Justification of vigilantism: Not this question again.
Elegance of villainy: Absolutely not. In fact, please start by picking a more creative villainous alias.
The scene that stays in your mind: The whirl wind fire storm engulfing Dr. Doom during the final battle
Trivia: Chris Evans improvised most of his dialog.
 
Where do I even begin.
 
I guess we have to start somewhere.
It’s just not a very exciting movie, is it? I mean the contours of the plot and climaxes were quite lame weren’t they? The acting didn’t save it either because there was none to render. The only saving grace was okay, it was probably the most good-looking ensemble after The Avengers and Lord of the Rings, but other than that, what else can you say?
 
It certainly was one of those superhero movies that banked extensively on its comic book following than actual quality of production. They weren’t expecting or garnering for an Academy Award nomination let’s just put it thay way.

3. The Brave One (2007)

Trailer

Director: Neil Jordan
Tagline: How many wrongs to make it right?
 
Reason for vigilantism: Erica Bain’s boyfriend was beaten to death by street thugs in the middle of one night at Central Park, and the police force was sluggish in their enforcement of the law. So she took matters into her own hands, and awoke the beast.
Choice of weapon: Kahr K9
Justification of vigilantism: Yea. The legal system is not absolute, or infallible.
Elegance of villainy: What villainy?
The scene that stays in your mind: The brutalization in the Central Park’s alley. Traumatizing and surreal.
Trivia: Final releases were sent to theaters with the fake title of 'Sweet Revenge'.
 
This was another one of those pitiful ones, because I loved Jodie Foster, and she is an outstanding actress. But the dramatization and climaxes of the film just were not up to par. I felt the movie was focused more on the dilemmatic emotions of Bain than the life of a vigilante per se. ‘The Brave One’ simply was not a compelling movie that is going to be remembered.
 
2. Daredevil (2003)

Trailer

Director: Mark Steven Johnson
Tagline: When the streets have gone to Hell - have faith in the Devil.
 
Reason for vigilantism: His innate desire for justice after the death of his father, and the notoriety of the infamous Kingpin and his human weapon ‘Bullseye’.
Choice of weapon: Billy Club
Justification of vigilantism: Really? Really necessary?
Elegance of villainy: Terrible and obtuse. Colin Farrell was. Enough said.
The scene that stays in your mind: The end credits.
Trivia: The movie was banned in Malaysia.
 
It became famous because of how bad it was. It was informally declared the worst superhero movie of all time, and TV series such as Big Bang Theory make spoofs out of it.
 
The fusion of dull superheroes and unimpressive villains just makes a concoction of failure. I really don’t think it’s Ben Affleck’s fault but the overall production of it. It was plain painful. I bet even Ben Affleck regretted doing that film.
 
It was like a dare in itself to watch it.
 
1. Catwoman (2004)

Trailer

Director: Pitof
Tagline: -
 
Reason for vigilantism: Sick of the being the apologetic, unconfident, and invisible woman.
Choice of weapon: Catlike abilities and a whip.
Justification of vigilantism: I would too, if I was just trying to live life as inconspicuously as possible, and you bloody blew me through a glass window. Dammit.
Elegance of villainy: None. Like a kitty trying to roar.
The scene that stays in your mind: Halle Berry strutting in the leather suit.
Trivia: 43 cats were trained for the film. Halle Berry adopted one of them afterwards, an orange and white youngster named Play Dough.

Oh this easily clinches the top spot. What the hell was that?! What was that?! Was that actually made as a joke? I still don’t get what happened.

I mean she (Patience Phillips played by Halle Berry) came out of nowhere, became a superhero for the heck of it, and showed her midriff. The end. She purred every now and then I remember, and then that's it.
 
That’s all. I’m sorry; pardon my absurdity, but it felt like the producers were just trying to cash in on boys who might want to see Berry’s sexy body, and if that comes in the form of a movie – okay. The plot was horrendous, there was no substantiality of motive, corny fight scenes, lame villainy (though Sharon Stone was yum) and the worst part was the cinema actually let us see it.
 
Not everything can be savaged by sex appeal love. Please. Next time.
 
ALMOST MADE THE LIST

Jumper (2008)

Trailer

Almost, but didn’t. Not because it wasn’t that bad, but because there were too many iconically worse ones. I think starting off, the cast was all wrong; Hayden Christensen, Rachel Bilson and Jamie Bell didn’t exactly feel right for the movie, and the storyline was weak. Plus David Rice’s (the Jumper) abilities were so fantastical that audiences and critics snorted at its unbelievability.  It just didn’t work overall and leaped straight to the bottom.


Trivia references by IMDB
Images courtesy of Gettyimages

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