Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey is set to have its own horror cinematic universe that gives a ludicrous scary twist to beloved children’s stories. We predict what will happen in films that have been announced—and we pitch some of our own ideas.
If you’ve heard of Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey and thought it was ridiculous, you’re right, and it seems that’s exactly what its filmmakers intended all along. The movie has been getting terrible reviews criticising its bad acting, screenplay, and all-around garishness just for the sake of spectacle. That hasn’t stopped people from watching it though and has grossed USD $2 million worldwide. It’s clearly a mindless campy horror film, and those who go watch it with that mindset will find themselves very amused.
Because of its success, the filmmakers have decided to do what Hollywood loves doing nowadays: make a universe out of these children’s-stories-turned-horror films. A sequel has been announced for Blood and Honey and two other films based on other fairy tales. Since this now seems to be a thing, we’ve decided to also come up with some ideas of our own for this Children’s Horror Cinematic Universe or CHCU as we’d like to call it.
Time to give Disney a run for its money.
Spoilers ahead for Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey.
The Blood and Honey horror universe and our suggestions for what could be adapted into a bloody ridiculous slasher flick
The planned Blood and Honey universe
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey
The first film in this cinematic universe starts with Christopher Robin meeting Winnie the Pooh and his friends. The movie makes a great point that these humanoid creatures would cause others to be cautious (it’s also the explanation as to why they live in the Hundred Acre Wood all alone: because they’re outcasts).
But because Christopher Robin is young and dumb, he befriends them—until he has to leave for college, that is. At this point, Winnie and his friends no longer have food brought to them, so they decide to eat Eeyore and live their lives hating humans and never speaking again. And thus begins the carnage.
The movie ends with Piglet dying but Pooh surviving, so the sequel will probably be Pooh hunting down Christopher who barely made it out alive.
Bambi: The Reckoning
Aside from the sequel, one of the films that have already been announced for the Blood and Honey universe will be based on Bambi. For those who don’t know, Bambi is the story of a life of a deer, but the most memorable and heartbreaking moment is when he loses his mother to a bunch of hunters. While no plot has been revealed yet, we’re betting the film will be a “hunter-becomes-hunted” type of situation with Bambi going Kill Bill on the people who killed his mom. The title does say “reckoning” after all.
It’s going to be weird to see a deer just impaling people with his antlers. But Bambi here might be like Pooh in that he’s a humanoid hybrid creature that will hack and slash his way much like his bear counterpart.
Peter Pan’s Neverland Nightmare
The other film that’s been confirmed will be based on Peter Pan. The concept of a kid who never grew up and visited a girl every night is magical when in the context of a kid’s story, but you have to admit it’s creepy if it isn’t. We’re thinking this iteration has Peter Pan obsessed with Wendy Joe Goldberg-style and will kidnap her back to Neverland. The Lost Boys are as equally creepy as their eternally young leader and now Wendy has to escape.
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Goldilocks and the Three Bears
This is perhaps the easiest story to transform into a horror slasher flick. The version of the story we all know is a little girl breaking into a house that belonged to a family of bears where she eats their food and sleeps in their bed.
The slasher version of this could revolve around a young woman who’s a wannabe influencer. She decides that breaking into a large mansion left alone that people stay away from is what would get her views up except she doesn’t know there are three murderous bears living in there. She now has to find a way to escape. She doesn’t and gets brutally butchered. Ironically, her phone captures all of this, and it’s her death that ironically gets her millions of views. Roll credits.
The first two Toy Story films posed the question of what happens to toys when a kid loses interest or inevitably grows up. While it all turns out okay in the case of Andy and his toys (so well that Disney has announced a fifth film), it could also head down the Blood and Honey route. Andy grows up, his toys are left to gather dust up in the attic, and he goes to college and forgets them. He returns home only to discover his mom and sister are being held hostage by the toys who are hellbent on making him suffer.
Ridiculous? Definitely. But that’s what we’re going for.
While Disney’s Tangled was, unsurprisingly, lighthearted and joyous, the original story from Grimms’ Fairy Tales actually took a dark turn. Upon discovering a prince is visiting her and that she is pregnant (yep, Rapunzel gets pregnant), the witch cuts her hair and kicks her out of the tower to the forest where she has to fend for herself. The prince returns to the tower hoping to see Rapunzel, only to discover the witch. He jumps out and survives the fall thanks to a bunch of thorny bushes but is rendered blind by them. Yikes.
Now the story continues and Rapunzel and the prince eventually find each other again, his sight is restored, and they live happily ever after with their twins. But imagine this: instead of throwing her out of the tower, the witch kept her locked in the tower, killed her prince in front of her by throwing him out of the tower so his body is still at the base of it, and left her just locked there for years. Her babies die due to the emotional trauma she suffered and now she’s just stuck there, this time completely alone.
Years later, a couple of drunk and horny teenagers discover this tower and decide to break into the tower to drink and get frisky—know, like all the other teenagers in other horror films. Inside, they discover a middle-aged Rapunzel, her hair has grown back after all these years, and is now bitter with hatred after everything she’s faced.
The teenagers now have to face her wrath. Picture a shot of one of them trying to hide and out of the corner you just Rapunzel’s bloody hair dragging along the ground as she tries to find them.
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[Hero image: Altitude Films]
This story first appeared in Lifestyle Asia Bangkok