WHEN I HEARD ABOUT THE SUGAR BOOK website (which has recently developed an app), I was instantly fascinated. It’s our very own Malaysian edition of rich-daddy-seeks-pliant-playmate. But then I realised it’s only because I am a man. In typical misguided excitement, I raced to share the news that I would interview/shoot two real-life sugar babies and a daddy to my unappreciative girlfriend.

“What’s the big deal with women exchanging affection for cash? Isn’t it like any rich dato’ paying for the upkeep of his mistress?” she unimaginatively responded, in between mouthfuls of blanched celery and cold tofu. I’m assuming she’s not impressed at the opulence of sugar daddies paying for the month’s groceries and annual jaunts to Santorini because it’s typical of men of means. Or maybe she’s just downplaying my harem delusions.

Other girls have since responded more positively, especially after I described the fabulous baubles showered by appreciative patrons; Macbooks, Italian clothes, five-star holidays, reconstructive surgery. Two female colleagues even promptly signed up. I suppose it’s all fun and games until you have to pay for it with your genitalia. But the Sugar Book team assures me that not all contractual affairs include sex. Some men just want to chat over French wine, before handing over a wad of cash and a high-five for an evening well spent. To each their fantasies.

By the way, they’re an awesome team, just the sort I’d want working on my startup if I ever started up. Now I’ve always lived behind a white picket fence so I’m eager to sample a little vicarious living even if by proxy. Plus I like that we live in an age where you can waive the torment of desire with the swipe of your visa. Shakespeare would not have been impressed, but
who has time for a sonnet these days anyway?

The boss you see flinging money is an advertising professional. He’s plied his trade most recently in China and Singapore and speaks several languages. Besides the occasional photo shoot, he oversees various personal investments that’re paying handsome returns. Since he’s moved back to KL, he lives alone with his cat and has no time for poorly made clothing. (What a résumé!)

The other two girls are foreign babies looking for a Prince Charming of their own. One is young and vivacious, another a part-time model. Rest assured though, The Sugar Book provides 31 flavours or more so there’s someone for everyone. Or so the saying goes.

Here are their thoughts:

THE MACK DADDY
What’s the biggest sacrifice you’ve ever made for a friend?
Taking one for the team. Had a friend who cheated on his wife and I had to lie on his behalf and lost the relationship and trust with his wife. (Wife is a relative.)

What question do you hate to answer from a woman?
How many girls have you slept with before?

Tell me a pick-up story that went really well and one thatwent south.
The one that went really well was when I approached a beautiful girl at a bar and she was actually with her friends. I offered to buy her a drink and she said no. Because she was with her friends, so I offered to buy all her friends drinks and we had an amazing night after that. The one that went south was a drunk girl came up to me in a club and asked directly, “Want to
f***?”, then puked on my shoes.

Tell me about your most successful habits.
Discipline. Stay committed to your goals and be consistent. If you say you are going to do something, you do it.

Do you have a long-term goal with being a daddy or is it just a phase?
I can’t exactly give you a reply to that. Being a daddy wasn’t a goal for me. I’ve always had short-term girlfriends and with my parents constantly asking when I’m getting married at family gatherings. When I came across TheSugarBook.com, it was just brilliant to have gorgeous girls who are smart and funny accompanying me to functions.

What have you learned from being a daddy, you’d like to share with other men?

That women of all ages and races love to be pampered. So regardless if she’s your baby, your girlfriend, your wife—tell her she looks amazing and surprise her with gifts every once in a while.

What’s your biggest vulnerability?
Ass. I am definitely an ass man.

What the greatest gift you can offer a sugar baby?
A wider and more influential social network.

Pitch yourself to the woman of your dreams.
With the babies, I usually start by being courteous and asking about their day. Then I’m always keen on getting to know them better and will propose a coffee date to gauge our chemistry. If we have sparks, we’ll then discuss on the terms of our relationship, i.e., do I feel like seeing her for long term (more than a month) or if she’s up for going with me on holidays and I’ll
pay for everything). And if she’s my dream woman, I wouldn’t need to pitch to her.

Would you consider a role reversal with a sugar baby, just for fun?
Yeah, but I would only consider a daddy whom I can learn from and also be my mentor.

What’s the most important lesson you can teach me in five minutes?
That time is one of the things in the world that money cannot buy, so treasure your youth and beauty and make full use of it. The second thing is opportunity. Be smart and recognise when a door is ajar for you because when that door closes, you can never get it back.

Does every woman have a price?
I think everyone has a price and it doesn’t necessarily have to be money. With every person, there will be some sort of sacrifice. And that’s the price to pay.

What kind of girls would you date with a view to marriage?
The one who would raise good children.

Are men naturally mono- or polygamous?
I think naturally human beings are polygamous. We are driven by the natural selection to choose the best partner. And our preferences change over time.

SASHA THE BUXOMY PARTY PLANNER
Your life as a movie: describe the title and synopsis.
A Story Book. Random short stories about one woman that travelled the world. Being a model, monk, burlesque dancer, kindergarten teacher and having romances with politicians, soldiers, celebrities, tycoons, taxi drivers.

Describe your job to a child.
Event planner. When you’re having your birthday party, I’m the one who will make sure that your cake arrives on time and your clown is funny.

Which public personality do you most relate to? Or want to be?
Coco Chanel. She was a smart and business-minded woman. She was a sugar baby as well but loved only one man all her life.

What do you treasure most in the world?
Relationships between people.

What would be your perfect murder weapon and why?
Breaking someone’s heart.

What are the best compliments and worst criticisms you’ve received?
Best and worst are all about my artwork and novels which I have written.

What famous song, piece of art or book do you wish you created?
Book: The Portrait of a Dorian Grey, The Little Prince, Alice in Wonderland. Art: Black Square by Kazimir Malevich, The Kiss by Gustav Klimt, The Scream by Edvard Munch, White Center and #1 by Mark Rothko.

What is your spirit animal and why?
Fox. Beautiful, fast, smart, clever and can attack if needed.

Smart and ugly, or dumb and beautiful, which would you choose?
Smart and ugly. These days everything can be fixed if you’re smart enough.

Men and women have different ideas about what is sexy. Describe a man’s and a woman’s perspective.
Men often fall for attractive long legs, a red dress, beautiful hair etc. Women think intelligence, manners and charisma are sexy.

Who would you trust with your life?
So far, no-one.

What’s the best and worst part about being attractive?
Worst is that people judge you for no reason. They think that you are happy go lucky always. Best parts
are entering any event for free, late checkouts from
hotels, change seats on the plane, get discounts and
many more.

What was the last lie you told?
My name.

KHRISTINA THE LEGGY MENTAL HEALTH AMATEUR
Your life as a movie: describe the title and synopsis.
Spontaneous, with every day as a new day with no schedule or plan.

Describe your job to a child.
Psychologist. I help people fix their life problems.

Which public personality do you most relate to? Or want to be?
Angelina Jolie. Her face and also her public life.

What are the best compliments and worst criticisms you’ve received?
Best: I am talented and comprehensively developed. Worst: Loser

What famous song, piece of art, or book, do you wish you created?
Queen: We are the Champions.

What is your spirit animal and why?
A cat as felines are as beautiful and lazy as I am.

Is monopoly a game you play with friends or enemies?
Both, you always need to make your enemies your best friends and vice versa.

Smart and ugly, or dumb and beautiful, which would you choose?
Dumb and beautiful.

Men and women have different ideas about what is sexy. Describe a man’s and woman’s perspective.
All the women and men I know are always searching for balance between beauty and intellect and self-confidence.
Also physical appearance for a man is not important. Men need to have charisma—this is sexy.

Who would you trust with your life?
God.

What do you hate and love about being a sugar baby?
I don’t like playing roles and pretending to be someone else sometimes. Stable financial support is what I like. Possibility to travel, and have new experiences and learn different cultures and see historical places are what I like about being a sugar baby.

What’s the best and worst part about being attractive?
Worst: People don’t see you as a person but rather a beautiful doll. Many people get envious and jealous of the places you get to go and the opportunities that are presented to you. Best: You always get attraction everywhere you go.

What was the last lie you told?
“I love you” and “it fits well”.

In Conclusion

My biggest takeaway? You’ll always lose money chasing girls, but you’ll never lose girls chasing money. Personally, these Jezebels were a pain to photograph. Both girls were in cunty moods because they weren’t getting paid and kept complaining about how they whipped out their best cocktail dresses and matching thongs for nothing. And I don’t blame them. If I were in their stripper heels, I’d do everything possible to grab what’s mine before a fresher face steals my gigs. The daddy on the other hand, was surprising cool throughout the ordeal. Cooler than a polar bear’s toenails. And as it should be, since he’s the boss man signing off cheques and picking up tabs. Sugar-dating is meant to be a tantalizing distraction from the pedestrian life and that’s the way it should always be. To the gentledaddies who’ve signed up, I wish you happy hunting. May Lady Tragedy rain on your parade if only to remind you how good we have it most of the time.

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