Tinder. The best and worst thing to happen to single men and women. The freedom of being able to judge someone as if they were at a bar, but in the comfort of your own home and without the potential of getting a drink in your face if you end up pissing someone off by being a dick. That also means people tend to act a little more inappropriately on Tinder. Or at least, write more crudely. Here are our rules to working the Tinder crowd.
1. If you swiped right first, start the conversation.
The first rule of Tinder is the same as going on a first date. If you asked her out first, offer to pay for dinner. So if you swiped right first, start the chat. How do you know? Well, odds are if you swiped right and 1 second later, there’s a match, she’s the first mover. Incidentally this rule applies equally to men and women. It’s the 21st century, ladies. Don’t act too coy, especially if it means typing a measly ‘Hello’ as a first message.
2. Let the conversation grow organically.
It’s Tinder, not a blind date, job application or a matchmaking agency. No one wants your CV. It’s enough that we know you have a job, and most women do prefer men with a job. So go easy with the ‘copy and paste’ introductions.
3. Keep it clean, until you’re sure she wants to get it dirty.
Wordplay is sexy, but keep it witty and entertaining. And enough with the unrequested dick pics. If she wanted to see your wang, she’d ask to meet and take a snap for herself. Or ask for it.
4. Be upfront.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to get laid. Just be honest about it. Don’t put one of those soppy lines about looking for a date and ask for a hookup about 12 seconds after matching.
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5. Have a proper picture of yourself.
If your profile photo is of someone else, a pet, a cartoon, an animation scene, or random objects, don’t be surprised if you’re not getting too many reactions.
6. Take the 5 minutes to write something about yourself.
Make it clever, cheerful and humorous. It’s Tinder. Don’t get into world peace or ex-girlfriends. Unless you’re looking to just hook up, in which case please refer back to rule 4.
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7. Don’t social media stalk her. Or real life stalk her. And vice versa.
It’s great that Tinder allows you to link up other social media to your profile, and even better that you can see how you may be connected to the person you’re swiping on. But don’t overdo it. That gets creepy, quick.
8. Don’t let the conversation falter for too long.
Again, the first date rule applies. Except usually the first date is followed by a call, and that should occur within the next 12-36 hours, but not before. On Tinder, the conversation shouldn’t falter too far between 4-8 hours. Unless you’re really really really ridiculously good looking.
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9. Don’t be the kid in the candy store.
Yeah we know, there’s a lot of fish out there in the sea, and Tinder makes it very easy to see all of them within a 100 kilometre radius. Don’t keep browsing, and try not to chat with 25 at a go. Believe me, if you’re juggling more Tinder conversations than you have fingers, you’re going to get screwed very quickly, and not in a good way.