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The AUGUSTMAN Guide to Proposing

Darren Ho
22 Jan 2017
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So you’re set to ask that special someone for their hand in marriage. As clichéd as it may sound, women appreciate the act of a proposal more than merely applying for a certificate at the registry. It may also help if the ring comes in a robin egg blue box, as is demonstrated by its effect on Katie Couric and Jessica Biel. But, thankfully, few women really want a flash mob production number. Here are some things you shouldn’t forget.

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Ask for Permission
Thereʼs an old Chinese adage that goes “If you love someone, you love their family too.” You are not just marrying a person but picking up an entire family tree along the way. The proper way to start that relationship is to state your intention and ask for permission to marry your future partner. It will earn you style points, if nothing else.

If He Says No, Don’t Take It Badly
There is a chance her father may tell you he does not approve. In that case, you need to sort out why he doesnʼt approve and try to convince him otherwise over time. But if heʼs definite, you need to know that this will not be an issue with her. Until you know that, hold back the question. 

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Find Our Her Ring Preference
Sure, nothing says marriage like a diamond ring. But not every woman dreams of that. Your ring is the first demonstration that you are putting her first, so find out what she likes before you take the plunge and grab a non-refundable ring. Ask her closest friend for clues, or if you can bear not to have the surprise element, bring her ring shopping. As for sizing, Tiffany & Co. has a clever Ring Sizing App on iTunes and Android. 

Try Out Your Speech
Unless youʼre an experienced public speaker or script writer, try out your speech with a friend, and donʼt worry if it doesnʼt come out perfectly. Youʼre going to have butterflies in the stomach at the time, and if she loves you, she won’t be put off if you blurted your words clumsily. Probably. 

Not In Public
Not everyone enjoys being given a surprise in public. This is a big decision and she should have time to consider your request. Unless you are confident she will say yes without hesitation, avoid big public displays. Aim for a private surprise, and have your friends on hold so that you can celebrate when she gives you the nod. 

She May Not Say Yes
This is possibly the biggest gamble you have to take in life, and her rejection could be for a number of reasons. She might need time to think it over, so donʼt freak out. Donʼt pressure her either. Saying no now does not necessarily mean she will not say yes in the future, nor does it mean that she thinks the relationship is a dead end. Just go with the flow. 

Remember the Details
Some day, you will have to repeat the story to your kids, or she will have a pop quiz for you. Keep it in mind. 

Keep It Simple
Grand gestures, however wildly impressive they may seem in various Hollywood sets, only work when you have thousands of dollars set aside for production. Keep it charming and simple. Rather than worry yourself silly over the details of some complex manoeuvre, try to enjoy the moment. That way, you can use that money to splurge on something important, like a great honeymoon. (But sometimes, the grand gestures do work.)

Have a Drink
It will calm your nerves. But try to avoid taking shots and ending up drunk. That comes after the proposal is done, and the friends are toasting to your happiness. 

Darren Ho
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